hello.
i get this feeling that everything around me is escalating to a final dramatic reveal. i don't know if it is actually happening that way or maybe it is just my personality (i do tend to dramatize my life a little.)

things have been quite messy lately. surely there are really exciting moments in these past few weeks: my net had a superb bbq yesterday; i got to know this scary warrant officer better through a series of events and learnt that everyone in this world has a story behind their behavior; i watched a few of my mates enlist into the NS as i watch my countdown to ORD widget; i joined the church's game committee and started to get more involved with their activities; met up more with old friends to catch up and realized that not only me, but a lot of my friends are also confused about their future after they ORD.

then there are the confusing moments where i am dreaming a lot about my future. first, there is that abstract dream about me in my future home where i run past a corridor of tall glass windows and white curtains. and at the end of the path was a large empty photo frame. slowly, the gaps fades in to reveal a portrait of 5 silhouettes - 2 taller and 3 short. second, the one about me having powers and zapping people into ice. i had this good friend who had the ability to 'see' anything. funny i didn't ask him to see what was my future though... (wasted man hahah) aiyah i think that dream resulted from too much Heroes (season 3 is mad!). the last vivid one is about me running on a forested path, i was in a cool high-tech nike gear with a white cyclist helmet. i was running towards the end of the path, where a tall white building stood. it was fall and the trees were all yellow. then path crunched as i ran. i ran quite long but wasn't tired. i digged the cool helmet man. it was long, sleek and glossy white. my body glowed too. :D

urgh, the future. this mad silent frenzy is driving me calmly nuts (weird description, but it is just that way)!! i have been watching my countdown quite closely. and questioning myself what should i do once i finish this 2 year obligation. i have got a list of what i want to do, but somehow, having that list doesn't seem very right. might be a christian thing, cause i am waiting for that 'moment' where i just suddenly get enlightened and know what i am going to do. well, either i am very faithful or just too scared to choose cause i am afraid i might make a wrong choice and screw up my future.

my future, it is my obsession. which reminds me, of this song where we always sing at theedge. it is joel tan's star song. i think he does that song very well.

You hold the future in your hands
You know my dreams and you have a plan
And as you light my way, I'll follow you

My eyes on all of the above
My soul secure in all you've done
My minds made up
And you are the only one for me

Jesus, savior, in my life you are everything
My future decided, I will praise your name
And I know that I am
I am Yours

Okay God. My future decided. My future is yours. Mind telling me what now?